Friday, April 27, 2007

Hokie Healing- It's a Great Thing

So I'm in Blacksburg, and I gave The Daughter a long, lingering hug-- so that fix is taken care of. Temporarily. More hugs to come.

Then, since she's quite the busy girl, with quite the busy life, and since I'm trying to be the very liberating mother and resist the urge to hold on to her and keep her with me every second so that I can be 100% sure she's safe for this minute at least, I headed over to Mosaic. I was lucky enough to run into Gina just before she left for home. Lucky me!!!

I'd read about Hokie Healing, which is a project she started to make blankets for the families of the victims of April 16th. Gina and Loren told me that they've had inquiries from around the country.

What a great idea. I wanted to write notes to each of the families, but I just don't know what I could possibly say.

So I'm making squares-- and having fun using some techniques I haven't tried before. No pictures or details right now-- but perhaps in another day or so.

Please visit the Mosaic site, and if you have some time, and some maroon and/or orange and/or black and/or white yarn, whip up a square or two to send in. If you've been affected by this horrendous tragedy and need an outlet, this is a great one.


Sunday, April 22, 2007

Re-Entering the World

We've been pretty much hunkering down this week at The Nurse's house. Aside from going to work, we've been staying home, keeping in touch with The Daughter through phone calls, text messages and emails, and trying to deal with the awfulness of the week.

The Daughter is doing ok-- she and her Hokie friends have been taking care of each other. I saw her on TV last night, playing at Ryan "Stack" Clark's memorial service.

It's been tough not being with her. But I know how important it is for her to mourn, grieve and heal in her own way. We're going down to Blacksburg this weekend, and I'll get those hugs I've been aching for.

Meanwhile, I ventured out today, spending a couple of needed hours at Knit Happens with Aimee, Elspeth and Kelly. I made some progress on The Daughter's top. Maybe pictures tomorrow.

I hit 5pm church, and then The Husband and I ordered Chinese delivery. This is my first regular food in many days.

I, who avoid frivolous refined carbs at almost all cost, have been living on cashews (not bad), coffee (aka my lifeblood) and yodels.

Yodels. For the uninitiated, they are the Little Debbie equivalent of Ho-Ho's.

A week ago you couldn't have paid me to eat one, or even forced one into my mouth. I hadn't had one of those in over 4 years.

It's time to start to recover and heal.

No more yodels.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Ut Prosim

Thank you for all your emails, phone calls and comments. I've passed your comments and thoughts to The Daughter. She was amazed at how many of my friends were concerned about her.

She is safe. She has been spending time with her friends, grieving and just being together. The band director and his assistants have been keeping a close eye on the band members, making sure they're not alone. A number of students from the marching band are going by bus to Georgia late tonight for "Stack's" service tomorrow.

I am exhausted. It's been a long and stressful week, with many tears.

My heart aches, not only for the families of those lost, for the students and faculty who were injured and their families, for our children who have lost their innocence, but also for the family of that disturbed boy. I hope someone is helping them.

Tonight--- sleep.

Monday, April 16, 2007



I can't get my head around this.

Over the past several hours I've been through fear, dread, hope, relief, then back to sadness, grief, devastation, loss.

My Daughter is fine. Her cell phone was turned off, though, and I left lots of messages:

"It's Mom, please call me."

"Honey, give me a call as soon as you can."

"Bebe'-- I need for you to call me as soon as you get this......"

I got a call from one of her sorority sisters who graduated last year and is far away from campus:

"Have you heard from her?"

Me: "No. Her phone goes right to voicemail."

"Well I have to find out if she's ok. I'm calling one of the sisters down there to go check on her."

Meanwhile-- calls and emails from family and friends, knitting buddies and coworkers.

Then the most wonderful call I've ever received:

"Mom, I just woke up. I don't have class today. What's going on?"
"Oh, Sweetie-- it's so awful......"

How do I thank you for your caring?

How do I thank God for the life of my child?

How do I deal with knowing that so many parents are not as fortunate as I?

How do I handle the anger I feel at the violation of this lovely place-- our safe haven away from home?

I just don't know what to think.

Please say a prayer for all who are not as fortunate as we are.

And give your kids a hug.